Your dad touched me again.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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