My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
