i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
