We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
