Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Randomize
