Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
