Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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