he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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