Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
