I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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