yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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