4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
