he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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