My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
try to milk me bitch
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
