yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
