I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
