Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
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