I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
