Is it normal to miss your booty call?
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
