I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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