Michael Bay diarrhea
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
