Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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