I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Randomize
