She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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