how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
