I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
