I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
