I'm jealous of your bromance
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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