Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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