Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
