Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Randomize
