Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
