id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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