Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
