Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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