My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
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