Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
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