I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
