Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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