trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
