i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
i just made my gag reflex go away.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
