Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Randomize
