i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Randomize
