My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
