i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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