it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
how drunk are you?
Several
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
