Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
