I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Randomize
