he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
