There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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