just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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