My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Bring me that man meat
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
