I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
40s are totally the cure
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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