drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
